Comfort and Joy
by Loverustal
Summary: Jack and Sam's first Christmas


It had been three months to the day that Jack O'Neill had looked into those beautiful blue eyes. Held her hand, slipped the ring on and softly said "I do". It had been one of the most magical nights of his life. To stand under the stars that he held so dear, on his deck in front of his pond and wed the love of his life.

She had crawled into bed with him in the wee hours of the morning. As soon as he had felt her slip into bed, he had snuggled up to her. Fun fact, Jack O'Neill was a snuggler! Sam never would have guessed the hardened general she married loved to snuggle. Jack buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply, relishing in the warmth of having his wife home for their first Christmas.

That morning over breakfast she asked him ,if he would like to accompany her to Christmas Eve service at a little church that she would frequent on occasion. He smiled at her, that smile that always made her heart skip a beat, and said "Samantha O'Neill I would love to accompany you.".

"I never knew you went to Christmas Eve service." She smiled that beautiful smile, that was just for him, "I don't usually get to. It's something my mother and I would always do. I search out a small church to go to whenever I'm stationed somewhere new. I don't go frequently, but the people are very friendly and make me feel at ease. The pastor is ex- military so he understands that I may not always be there, but when I wasn't off world, I always tried to come. The service is quite beautiful. "

Jack then, understood why she always insisted on going home on Christmas Eve, if they got together for the holidays. That also explained the beautiful dresses she would often wear. He had always thought she looked so lovely in the festive red, green or silver dresses she wore for Christmas. He never imagined she was going to church after she left them not that he was bothered by it. It just never occurred to him. Sam wasn't embarrassed about going. She cherished those Christmases with her mother, singing Christmas hymns. The church bathed in the candles glow. Decorated in it's Christmas best, decked out in Garland and the tree all lit up. It was something she did to honor and feel close to her mother. She looked forward to it all year. Sam told him she would get their clothes ready a little later. They had all day. The service didn't even start until eleven p.m.

Jack had decorated most of the house while she was away. He had put up the tree and it's lights, but he had waited for Sam to come home to finish the tree. So they hung their newly joined ornaments on the tree. They told each other the significance of each one and why they meant so to them. There was the baseball player that had been Charlie's. The space shuttle that her dad had bought her when she was six. The jet Jack's mother had bought him the year he went into the Air Force. Then at the bottom of the box was one wrapped in tissue paper. Jack insisted it must be Sam's. He swore he'd never seen it before. She thought he was mistaken. Curiosity got the better of her, so she opened it to find, a picture of them on their wedding day with the date. Sam's eyes teared up and she hugged and kissed Jack. She thought "how had I been so lucky to find this loving and thoughtful man?"

Sam took the throw blanket off the couch and laid it on the floor underneath the Christmas tree. The tree's lights were on and she took Jack's hand. They made love under the tree. Afterward she laid in Jack's arms and said that was a tradition she had always wanted to have with her husband. He smiled and said I think I can arrange that. They watched Christmas movies and napped and snacked on the homemade cookies and candies his assistant had given Jack. Earlier in the day Sam had put a roast with potatoes, onions and carrots in the crockpot. That way they could have an easy dinner. When it was time to get ready, they took a shower together. Jack kissed and caressed Sam as he washed her." I like this tradition too" he laughed. After they dried off, they went into the bedroom. Jack pulled out his underclothes while Sam got him a dark grey suit with a light grey shirt and a beautiful red tie he had never seen before.

While he dressed he watched Sam pull on a matching red bra and panties set with a garter belt. She then pulled on some nude colored silk hose. She went to the closet and got out a lovely red dress, Jack remembered her wearing one Christmas Eve. He said " it's probably a good thing I didn't know what was under that dress back then, or you never would have made it to church." Sam laughed. She then had put on her jewelry and perfume. When they were ready to go, slipped her shoes and coat on. The newlyweds went into the garage, and climbed into the new little SUV Sam had recently bought. She had come out and started her Rogue a little earlier, so it was nice and warm. Into the star lit night they drove.

The church Sam pulled up to, was in fact the quintessential country church. The falling snow combined with the lights that were peeking out from under the snow on the bushes, gave it a real Christmas card feel. As they exited the Rogue, she popped the release on the cargo department. Jack gave her an odd look, but followed to the rear of the vehicle. There sitting in the back were two of the most beautiful poinsettias he had ever seen. She handed him the red one and picked up the almost pink one for herself. There were already quite a few cars in the parking lot.

Inside the church, it was painstakingly decorated for Christmas. There were five large stain glass windows on each side. In each window was a lit candle. The carpet and pew cushions were a dark green which paired the oak pew nicely. It went perfectly with the candle light and all the different hues of the poinsettias. Jack thought he hadn't seen a church so beautiful. An older grey headed man with matching beard came toward them. Sam smiled one of her knockout smiles, just not the one reserved for Jack. The man took the plant from Sam. "Here let me take that." They followed him to the front of the sanctuary. Where dozens of poinsettias sat on stands. He told Sam he had saved her two spots out front. He placed both plants in their respective spots. He then turned to Sam and asked who had she brought with her? She smiled and proudly induced her husband Jack to Pastor Doug. Jack smiled and shook his hand. Doug then told her he was happy to see her here this year and everything was set. Jack just raised an eyebrow at her. Sam blushed, smiled and quickly turned away.

Sam lead them to a pew up front. As they sat several people came by to greet them and hug Sam. They gave her excited congratulations on the marriage. She also had many oohs and ahhs over her rings. The engagement ring had a blue topaz with diamonds all around it. Jack had designed it to represent the stargate, that had brought them together. The wedding band was a simple gold band that matched Jack's. On older lovely lady named June came over to see Sam. She hugged her, and told Jack what a wonderful girl he had gotten. Then she said " you better treat her right. She's our Christmas Eve Angel." He gave June a funny look and said "yes ma'am". Sam went and got a church bulletin. Inside was a list of Dedications and In Memories the poinsettias were honoring. Jack saw the In Memory of Charlie O'Neill and one for Mr. And Mrs. Jacob Carter. Sam smiled a timid smile, "I hope it's okay". Jack's eyes shown with tears. He fiercely hugged her. "I love you so very much baby. Red was Charlie's favorite color. " Sam smiled, "I know, you mentioned it one time. That's why I picked that one. "

Soon service started. They were handed candles and lit them. They sang Away in a Manger, Silent Night, What Child Is This, prayed and thanked God for the gift of his Son to forgive our sins. Different youth from the church went up and read verses from the bible. They listened to Doug tell the story of Jesus's birth. While it wasn't the way Jack usually spent his Christmas Eve, he truly enjoyed it. Then when he thought it was about time to go. His wife stood up and went up front. He watched with a slightly confused look as Sam was handed a microphone. Softly music started in the background. Jack only had eyes for the vision in red before him. The candle light reflected off Sam's hair. Then Jack heard the voice of an angel. His angel singing Mary did you know. He couldn't believe he never knew, that Sam had the voice of an angel. Now he understood the Christmas Eve Angel comment. Doug released them a little after midnight. They wished everyone a Merry Christmases and headed home.

Jack drove them back as the snow was really coming down. The moon put a silver glow to the snow kissed landscape. It was just like traveling in a snow globe. When they reached their house, all their Christmas lights were on, and the house looked so lovely. After they came into the house, Sam hung her coat up and slipped her shoes off. She sat on the couch and patted the seat next to her. Jack sat beside her. He smiled and told her he had a wonderful time and that she sang like an angel. She smiled shyly, a soft rose blush coloring her face. Sam quietly said since it was officially Christmas, she wanted to give him a gift. She picked up a small red box with a silver bow on top that mysteriously appeared under the tree. Jack thought it looked strangely like a bracelet jewelry box. He had no idea what this present could be. She came back and sat beside him. Sam nervously handed it to him. He noticed a slight tremor as he took it. Could this some type jewelry? He had never really been the jewelry type. He cherished his wedding ring and felt naked without his watch or dog tags. What could this be? He opened it and found a pregnancy test. It read positive.

He looked up, she had nervous smile. Jack was floored, this was totally unexpected. He didn't know what to think. He hadn't had any idea what Sam's gift would be, but he just wasn't prepared for this. Sam saw that, her surprise hadn't gone the way she had hoped. They really hadn't took the time to discuss children yet. She assumed that Jack knew, she wanted children. She was actually desperate for them. It seemed to her that she heard her clock ticking all the time. This had been a welcome surprise, she thought, until Jack had opened the test. She knew he loved kids, was great with them. She never thought he wouldn't want them.

Before Sam knew it, Jack was grabbing his jacket. He wouldn't look her in the eye as he practically ran from the room. She pulled on her warm pajamas and crawled into a cold and empty bed. She cried herself to sleep. Sam woke to gentle fingertips drawing patterns on her cheek. She swatted it. "Jack" Then she sleepily opened her eyes. This was a young blonde boy who was smiling at her. "Come on Sam wakey wakey. " As she blinked the sleep away, there was something about this young boy, she just couldn't really place it. "Let's go sit under the tree." In the living room, the tree's lights were on, Sam was sure she had turned them off. She thought I'm worrying about lights, when a boy I don't know wakes me up in the early hours of Christmas day. Then she took a good long look at him. "Charlie?" He smiled, "I knew you would figure it out." "How are you here?" He smiled that little crooked smile, that she loved so much on another O'Neill man. Then Sam thought about Jack, he hadn't returned home. Charlie smiled, "Dad's okay, he'll be back soon. Sam it's the magic of Christmas, that's how I was able to come. I wanted to check on my baby sister. I've always wanted a baby sister." Charlie stood up with a huge snaggle tooth grin on his face, and hugged Sam. Then he raised his hand, approaching her stomach. "May I?" She nodded "Hi Gracie, don't worry about Dad. You gotta understand, he still blames himself. He was a wonderful Dad to me and will be an even better one to Gracie. He just doesn't think of himself worthy of another chance, plus it makes him think he's abandoning me. I'm glad Dad has you, he was so lonely for so long. It hurt to see him like that. Here I bought this for Gracie. It's a little early but I couldn't wait." It was a small wrapped present. Sam opened it. It was an ornament of an ultrasound picture, the words Gracie O'Neill engraved under it, and Daddy's Angel above it. Sam looked closely at it. It was the same ultrasound picture Carolyn had taken when she had been given her post mission physical. Carolyn couldn't get the machine to print and Sam was in to much of a hurry to get home to Jack. Sam had told her she would look at it later. She had planned to get a copy then. She thought boy isn't this some kinda crazy dream.

When Sam awoken it was light outside. She could smell coffee and hear the sizzle of bacon. She put her robe on and paddled into the kitchen. Jack was busy manning the stove. He had just taken the last strip of bacon off. Was starting on the scrambled eggs and flipping a pancake every so often. He looked at her said "good morning". He placed her food in front of her on the bar with a glass of orange juice. "I'm sorry about last night, I panicked. I very much want to have babies with you. I want to see our baby grow inside you. I just screwed it up so badly last time. I don't think I could handle losing another child. I'm scared Sam. I love you so much, what if I fail you and our child? I couldn't live through something like that again." Sam got up and hugged Jack. She held his face, the beautiful face of her husband, "I love you Jack O'Neill, I always have. I will do everything in my power to protect you and our child. I would never hurt you intentionally. I know you wouldn't hurt me or this child either . Where did you go when you left me last night?"

"I had to see to see Charlie. I feel guilty sometimes, I don't want him to think I've forgotten him or abandoned him. I have this wonderful marriage with this truly beautiful, smart, sexy woman. Still not sure how I managed that. I'm not worthy of any of this, and now my beautiful wife is going to have my child. I needed to make sure Charlie knew about this new child. I talk to him sometimes about my fears, my joys. It helps me brings me peace. Then I sat in the truck outside your little white church and prayed. I asked for strength to be the father our child deserves. I asked for courage to be the man you deserve not the one that runs out on you on our first Christmas together, because I'm scared, terrified actually." Jack smiled a sad little smile.

"We'll do it together like always" she smiled. After breakfast they went to the living room to open presents. There on the tree, Sam saw the ornament from her dream last night. "Jack where did you get this ornament made? How did you get that picture? I don't even have one?"

Jack looked at the ornament in question. "I've never seen that ornament before." Sam turned a deathly pale. I had a dream last night, Charlie was in it. He gave me the ornament, said the baby was a girl, called her Gracie. Then Sam looked on the floor, there was some torn and crumpled wrapping paper. She picked it up. Jack face lost all color. It was red with Santa with his sleigh, it didn't match any of the gifts they had under the tree. "When Charlie was alive, at Christmas Sarah had a certain paper she used only for Santa gifts. The year before he died, she had used every little piece of it. She sent me to countless numbers of stores to find it. I tracked down the company, that pattern had been discontinued. You would have better odds winning the lottery than finding some of this paper."

"So you think Charlie actually came to see me last night? He said Christmas was magical." Jack just hugged her. "We've seen stranger things Carter." He bent down and gently kissed Sam's stomach. He whispered, " I'm sorry Little One, Daddy loves you with all his heart and will never let you down. I promise. " Sam softly ran her fingers through his hair. "Merry Christmas my darling husband, we love you."


End file.
